Unapologetically Sensitive: 050 Boundaries-- I Want To Be The One To Stop It Here with Sarah Buino, LCSW

050 Boundaries-- I Want To Be The One To Stop It Here with Sarah Buino, LCSW

Dec 3, 2019

TITLE

Boundaries--I Want To Be The One To Stop It Here

GUEST

Sarah Buino, LCSW, CADC, RDDP, CDWF

EPISODE OVERVIEW

This episode is all about authenticity and vulnerability. Sarah talks about being a wounded healer and why she chooses to tell the truth when someone asks her how she is. Sarah talks about her resistance to the term Highly Sensitive Person, aka HSP, and we examine this. We talk about NARM in therapy, and why Sarah believes in it. Sarah talks about her decision to NOT have children, and we have an in-depth discussion about a boundary Sarah set with me, and how we both responded to this boundary.

HIGHLIGHTS

Why it’s beneficial to be authentic when someone asks, “How are you?”
Sarah talks about when feelings of not being worthy show up for her
NARM—Neuro Affective Relational Model
Sarah is doing her own work through the NARM model, and she has found it very effective
It gets to developmental trauma that may be pre-verbal
Epigenetics
- Trauma that happens in the womb can be passed from mother to child
- Non-verbal things in the environment can be passed on to children
Sarah’s decision to not have children and why she made the decision
Sarah talks about how she was impacted since her mother had her in order to have someone to love her
The challenge of setting boundaries
What fears come up for Sarah if she anticipates having to set a boundary
What Sarah’s behavior may look like if she hasn’t set a boundary
The benefits of setting boundaries
The unexpected benefits when she has set boundaries
Sarah talks about her resistance to identifying as an HSP
We talk about the cultural connotation of sensitivity and how it can be perceived as a weakness
We talk about alternative ways to describe what being an HSP means
- Highly Attuned
- Highly perceptive
- Highly responsive
When Sarah and I first talked, she set a boundary with me, and we discuss how that impacted both of us
We talk about how grief can be more complicated if you’ve had a challenging relationship with the deceased
Sarah shares her experience of losing her parents—she had a difficult relationship with both of them, but has gotten some healing since their death
We talk about therapists being vulnerable with their clients
Sarah talks about what being a wounded healer means and how she uses this in her word
I talk about Arianna Smith’s analogy of the bathtub when talking about overarousal and overstimulation and the HSP

BIO

Sarah Buino, LCSW, CADC, RDDP, CDWF is a speaker, teacher, therapist and the founder of Head/Heart Therapy, Inc. She holds a masters degree from Loyola University in Chicago and specializes in shame, trauma, and substance use disorders.

Sarah integrates her knowledge of complementary healing modalities such as music, yoga, reiki, and the chakra system into her clinical practice to help clients enhance their authenticity. She’s also the host of a podcast Conversations With a Wounded Healer which examines the role of one’s own healing while being a care-giving professional.

PODCAST HOST

Patricia Young hosts the podcast Unapologetically Sensitive, and works with Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) helping them to understand their HSP traits, and turning their perceived shortcomings into superpowers. Patricia is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, and is passionate about providing education to help HSPs and non-HSPs understand and truly appreciate the amazing gifts they have to offer. Patricia works globally online with HSPs providing coaching. Patricia also facilitates online groups for HSPs that focus on building community and developing skills (identifying your superpowers, boundaries, perfectionism, dealing with conflict, mindfulness, embracing emotions, creating a lifestyle that supports the HSP, communication and more).

LINKS

Sarah’s Links

Website-- https://headhearttherapy.com/

IG: @headhearttherapy

FB: @headhearttherapy @woundedhealr

Twitter: @HeadHeart_Chi @woundedhealr

Podcast—Conversations with a Wounded Healer https://headhearttherapy.com/podcast/

Resources

NARM Therapy—Neuro Affective Relationship Model https://narmtraining.com/

Kristin Neff-- https://self-compassion.org/

Tim Desmond-- https://timdesmond.net/

Chasing the Scream by Johann Hari-- http://chasingthescream.com/