Feb 12, 2019
EPISODE
Episode 18
TITLE
Women’s Experiences Matter and Women’s Emotional Lives Matter
GUEST
Sara Wachter-Boettcher
EPISODE OVERVIEW
Sara talks about the importance of centering on women’s voices in media, and the importance of showing women in deep, rich, emotional conversations with each other in order to show how powerful it can be when we are vulnerable, and open and honest with each other. Sara talks about the common beliefs that prevent people from taking it to the next level, and steps they can take to get there. We talk about the value of learning from what didn’t work out, and often success is more about the process than the end result. We talk a quote someone said, “You can be a hot mess, and be successful.”
HIGHLIGHTS
- In many environments, women are taught that in order to get ahead, they need to stuff all their feelings down, and that’s what professionalism means
- Women are taught that to be good at their jobs, they should be more unfeeling; more unstoic, and then they are perceived as unlikable when they are those things
- We’re extremely good at what we do. We’re competent; we’re ambitious, and we are successful, and we are also people that are unashamed to say, “Hey, I cried twice today.” I’m still good at what I do; I’m still competent and I’m still successful
- The contradicting messages women receive—you’re too aggressive, and you need to speak up. There are double standards for women, and a narrow tightrope for women to walk in order to be perceived as “just right.”
- You can spend your entire life just trying to do it “just right,” and still get the message that it’s not good enough
- We’re creating a space where we can say that none of those rules apply, and we can talk with women about things that matter to them on their own terms, so that people don’t feel less alone, and less alone in processing those toxic messages they get
- You can be a hot mess and successful at the same time
- In a male dominated culture, there is an emphasis on glossing over anything that makes you feel vulnerable. The problem with this is that people don’t learn anything from your story about being awesome. That is not helpful for someone else trying to learn from you
- Success is not any pure thing that doesn’t have down sides to it
BIO
Sara Wachter-Boettcher runs Rare Union, a strategy consultancy, and cohosts Strong Feelings, a weekly podcast about living your best feminist life at work. She's also a keynote speaker and the author of three tech/design books: Technically Wrong: Sexist Apps, Biased Algorithms, and Other Threats of Toxic Tech from W.W. Norton in 2017, Design for Real Life (with Eric Meyer) from A Book Apart in 2016, and Content Everywhere from Rosenfeld Media in 2012. Her work has been featured in The Washington Post, Slate, The Guardian, and more, and she’s spoken at dozens of events across four continents related to tech and design.
LINKS
Website--rareunion.com
Website--strongfeelings.co
Website--www.sarawb.com
Twitter--twitter.com/sara_ann_marie
Podcast—Strong Feelings
Elizabeth Gilbert Big Magic
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MUSIC—Gravel Dance by Andy Robinson www.andyrobinson.com